Maybe you can help me out here. I’ve been an avid spectator of the automotive industry for much of my life; professionally for the last 20 or so years. There’s been a lot of confusing stuff over the years, but nothing has puzzled me so much as the success of the coupe-SUV.
When manufacturers first started launching the humpback versions of their SUVs, it all seemed like a bit of a fad that – surely – buyers wouldn’t be convinced by. But no. Two decades on from the 2008 BMW X6 that’s largely credited (blamed, is another word…) for starting the whole thing and coupe-SUVs are more popular than ever. Case in point: I drove the new Audi Q3 SUV recently and I discovered that the Q3 Sportback – the coupe version – is predicted to account for some 41% of sales in the UK. At that point I started to think that I really must be missing something.
Why would you buy a less practical SUV (a class of car, remember, that became popular in a large part due to it offering more space than a traditional hatchback), and pay a £1,500 premium for the privilege? I just don’t understand, and if I’m honest, I’ve never understood the appeal of SUV-coupes because I cannot think of a single one that looks better than the ‘normal’ SUV equivalent.
The Q3 certainly doesn’t. I mean, I’ll be honest, I think Audi has lost its way with its styling of late, and many of its cars look overly fussy yet also peculiarly blobby. But the Q3 Sportback? I mean, blimey. Surely, the rear three-quarter view is one that only the designer could love? The back of the standard Q3 is no beauty, I’ll give you that. The split tail lights, lightbar and illuminated badge that you get on higher-spec models has little cohesion; it just looks like a random accumulation of styling choices that have been tacked onto one vehicle.
But the Sportback takes the Picasso-gone-wrong confusion of the Q3’s rear styling and makes it even worse, with the sloping roofline somehow making the lights look squintier, and the sad-clown-face rear bumper appearing even more prominent below the glowing, blobby nose of the Audi logo.
So, I’ll say this again: I just don’t understand why you’d pay extra for the Sportback over the standard SUV. The only reason is because it looks cooler, or perhaps sportier. But it doesn’t. If I have to fight you over this, I will. The only coupe-SUVs that I can think of that make sense are the Lamborghini and Ferrari SUVs of the world, because they’re just family supercars for people with a lot of money and an uncontrollable need for attention.
Otherwise? Does a BMW X6 or BMW X4 look better than an X5 or X3? Absolutely not. Does a Mercedes GLC Coupe look better than the standard GLC? No. Skoda Enyaq Coupe or VW ID.5 over the ‘normal’ models? Absolutely not.
And don’t tell me they drive better. I’ve driven them all, and they don’t. They’re still SUVs, with the centre of gravity and weight entailed in that, and chopping off a bit of the roof and stiffening up the dampers does not make it into a sportscar. It just makes an SUV that’s less practical and more uncomfortable, thereby removing the entire purpose of an SUV.
Regardless of my protests, it’s clear that the coupe-SUV is here to stay. It’s now just another thread in the fabric of the new car market, and Audi is absolutely right to offer Sportback coupe-SUVs because people want them and are willing to pay for the privilege. Don’t worry - I’m perfectly aware that I’m the one being left behind here; puzzled, confused and unfashionable with my love for boxy, sensible estates and SUVs.
So, there you have it. Hard as I try, and no matter how they evolve, I just can’t work out why you’d want a coupe-SUV. If you figure it out, please do let me know, because I’ve had 20 years to think about it and I still can’t fathom it.